I really can't think straight lately. Seems I'm easily distracted. Either that I'm off in my own little world & not quiet aware of what's happening around me. So what has been my escape? Well for the past 6 days it has been work. Sad but true; it's something that keeps me in the now, cause when I'm not in the now I start to think about the future and the past and that's where all the trouble seems to be.
Why is it trouble when I think about the past and the future? Well because I can't control it; and you know what that scares me. I think up to know I can "bluff" my way through. That's what I did, pretend I know what I'm doing. It seems to have got me this far; but now, with the next stage of my life, I don't want to bluff my way through and now I'm starting to ask questions, "can I do it?" " do I have what it takes?"
Why is it trouble when I think about the past and the future? Well because I can't control it; and you know what that scares me. I think up to know I can "bluff" my way through. That's what I did, pretend I know what I'm doing. It seems to have got me this far; but now, with the next stage of my life, I don't want to bluff my way through and now I'm starting to ask questions, "can I do it?" " do I have what it takes?"What I saw myself doing in 5 years time 5 years ago (so 10 years time 5 years ago), is totally different to what I see myself doing in 5 years time now.
All I can do is live in the now, making the most of what's in my hands.
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